| i am... |

peeved by the restrooms at work, for reasons as followed:
(1) they are on the third floor whilst my office is on the second floor. there are restrooms on the 2nd floor but are always kept locked and i do not have a key to them (why theyre always locked, i have no idea). so please imagine having to pee really bad and trying to suppress this micturition reflex while going up the stairs and down the hall as fast as you can...its not a nice feeling
(2) they smell really bad. i think that is the first thing that i notice when i walk in. the odor is kind of like wet dog meets raw sewage meets rotten eggs meets climbing feet funk....times 10. and it all comes from this little drain on the ground which i think actually blows it up into the bathroom. gross.
(3) there are no toilet seat covers. isn't that against the law? like...restroom sanitation laws or something. i need to google this.
(4) the toilet seat is unstable. i swear the last time i sat down i thought i was gonna slip off the toilet ;\ and the thought of any part of me touching that restroom floor besides my shoes-cladded feet is ick. one day, i will bring a screwdriver and tighten that sucker.
(5) people can see you pee! the gap between the stall door and the wall is like 2 inches wide (ok, maybe more like an inch, but still wide!) i think everyone who enters the restroom acknowledges this and kinda looks in a different direction or at the ground in respect for the person peeing. but really, the designer of this restroom should have thought this through. nobody likes other ppl watching them pee and poo and wipe and wiggle back into their pants (see? ppl cringe just reading about it-- imagine seeing it)
(6) one little bump and the door swings open. the locking mechanism of the stall doors has got to be one of the most poorly designed ever. boo on the lock that doesnt really lock.
so my trip to the restroom is very involved: putting toilet paper over the drain, draping toilet paper down the gap of the stall wall/door, squatting an inch above the toilet seat and holding out one hand to catch the door. (just kidding....) at least i get to work on my core, quads and balance eh?