| ohana means family |

i had a wonderful time in Stockton with my family this past weekend. i realized that no matter how much i complain that theres absolutely nothing to do there (which is soooo true) i always have a great time (: i came back this time with an unusual overwhelming feeling, that has been lingering in my thoughts all of today. I'm not exactly sure how best to put it into words, but i can try right? *cracks fingers* i think spending time with my relatives this past weekend really put a lot of things into perspective. not that this time was much different than other visits, but some events just made my brain crank (i think i think too much for my own good sometimes ;\). in seeing the kind of relations that my relatives have with each other and the manner in which they interact...to say the least, i was intrigued. in all my observations, i was reminded that life can be unfair and it's not perfect. my extended family is not perfect. it is sooooo far from it. (you say duh kneetoad...so obvious) but sometimes its the most obvious things that we need to be reminded of. at times, i think we make our lives into something that its not or something that it shouldnt be, and in our busy days where time stops for no one, it passes without notice. *sigh* life is life. man...there are days when things can get so complicated that all i can think about is if and when they will get better. and there are moments so overwhelming that i am just brought to tears. and then there are moments that move me in such a way that every inch of me longs to just break free from life and change its design. but i understand that almost nothing will turn out exactly the way you planned or expected- sometimes life throws you a curve ball unexpectedly and all you can do is just swing away, because you have nothing else to lose. i know that families will have their share of misfortunes, their quirks that make anyone on the outside go "whoa" or "weird", but sometimes i just wish i could just do a lil nip and tuck and things will be better. i cant help but worry. i wish i had the power to make things all good. but i know i cant and i accept that. and i do the best that i can do or am able to do. There will be the conflicts, the insults, the staring, the glaring, the selfishness, the pride that prevents two people from even standing in the same room, the jokes, the laughs, the tears, the unfortunate events beyond anyone's control that can change a teenage boy's life...forever. but i am a firm believer in the power and force of family and love. if you could see what i see in my family, its an absolute masterpiece. each individual is woven...intertwined into the tapestry of our family. it may not be the prettiest, but it's still tightly held together and can withstand most things. each lil thread makes it unique and i dont think i would have it any other way. That's what i've learned. Oddly enough, being a perfectionist, im not striving to lead a perfect life, just a good one, im not looking for the perfect relatives, i love the ones i have, just as they are (: and we are in this thing called 'life' together.

if there's one thing ive learned this past weekend its to never take life for granted... or the simple gifts in life- be thankful for your parents, family, their love, your ability to wake up every morning and see the world around you. in all its perfection and imperfections, live it up. take the time to tell the ones you love just that. you can never tell someone you love them enough. you never know what difference a few simple words could make in someone else's life. and have fun (: life just isnt the same without it ;)

pictures from this past weekend