| on life, in sadness |

i was recently looking at some old pictures from a couple of years back and it was very weird. at first it made me smile. and laugh. but then it left me very nostalgic. very pensive. almost sad. a part of me ached to be that person again. it just seemed like i was a happier and better person back then. i think you could see it in my eyes. eyes convey emotions well. i was in the car with swan and i was telling her about this...how i used to be such an incredibly peppy, fun person, so easily pleased and excited about so many things. and now, i feel as though i've just turned into a mean and cynical person ;\ well, not all the time...but more than i used to be.

there used to be a time where i would start a blog and have so many thoughts running through my head, my fingertips could hardly keep up in typing them all out | i used to bring my camera everywhere i went, snapping the most random and wonderful pictures of my family and friends and the world around me | there was a time where the sight of little kids would cause my eyes to light up and i could spend countless hours playing with them | there used to be a bounce in my stride, a skip in my step, hope in my heart, and a smile on my face as i greeted each new day | thoughtful, confident, not afraid to love and amazed by the little things in life... | im not sure what's going on now, but i think im losing it.

sometimes, i feel as though im too tired to even smile *sigh*