| turn it all around |

"I dig my toes into the sand...
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds
strewn across a blue blanket.
I lean against the wind,
pretend that I am weightless,
and in this moment I am happy... happy.
-incubus

for some reason, it feels as though a load has been lifted off my shoulders. i havent felt so at ease in the longest time--the last time i felt this free was maybe a year ago. *sigh* and it feels so good, i cant help but smile (:

i started climbing again this week (yay)...but theres something different about it. i felt it yesterday. I realized that in the past couple of months, I've forgotten about the reasons of why i climb. Sure, aside from being a good workout, a good challenge, a way to show up the boys (muahaha), i'm talkin about the real reasons here. Why i cram my feet into shoes 2 sizes too small, why i put my body through torture (at times) to climb up mountainsides, why i drive/fly hundreds of miles to other states/countries to climb boulders. why the thrill? why the passion?...yesterday, i rediscovered a certain fire in me that i havent felt since i first started and i realized this is it. this is why i climb. its for that nervous anticipation before the start of a climb...a combination of doubt but at the same time, confidence and determination. for that tingling sensation that shoots through my body as i move from hold to hold, trying to find the right beta. for the long dyno, feet cutting, but still holding on. for the growing confidence with each difficult move made. its about the focus, being in the zone. the look in my eyes. the determination. the drive. the quick huff and puff of my breathing as i shift my body and switch my feet. its for the quiet grunt that escapes me as my fingers silently scream as i try to stick a hard pinch. its for the drops of warm sweat travelling down the side of my face. its for the words of encouragement from below. for the rush of adrenaline as i near the end, my heart pumping as i stretch for the finish. for the feeling of catching a hold so good, its as though it was made just for my hands. for the dynos, cranking on 2 finger pockets, crimpy sidepulls, shoulder-ripping gastons, calf-cramping heel hooks, bruised knees, bleeding ankles, pumped forearms, sore fingers, flappers, and raw fingertips. the feeling of triumph after so many attempts and so many failures. its about trust. trusting my fingers, my feet, my mind. its about knowing my body and its abilities, and then pushing it beyond its limits. its about making what seemed to be the impossible, possible. (and i got all that just from indoor climbing!) add the sun, the scenery, the cool breeze, nature and all its wonders and you have something that is just simply amazing...*happy sigh*

its hard sometimes to remember the things that are worth smiling about. its difficult at times to fully grasp what it is we live for and even harder to figure out if its all worth it. but when you do remember and when you do realize what keeps you moving in life, be it the lil things (like climbing) or big things (like family) it's one of the best feelings ever. its like an ice cream truck on a hot summer day. sweet, cool, and refreshing (hallmark card :P) haha. you'll realize that some of these things have always been there and it was a matter of you seeing it. it is a choice. a very hard one to follow through with sometimes, amidst the chaos of the world...but a smart one. and i am forever grateful for the lil reminders in my day that show me that life is beautiful. its all about attitude. fish!

The makings of a happier linda:
waking up at 7 every morning to walk/play with the Donut | my wonderful roommates | 'exploding' hair dos of twists and clips | listening to good music | playing that good music on my guitar | dancing around my apt- i specialize in crazy ugly dancing | good food | basketball with the girls :D | typewriter pull-ups (hell yes! these are awesome) | abs abs abs | meeting new people | looking at old pictures | taking new ones | laughs and smiles | hugs | cleanly shaven legs (maybe) | Williamson sport climbing (sat) | Beach/surfing (sun)

i wish i could take what i'm feeling right now and bottle some of it up. and on the days when i need it most, i can open up that bottle and be reminded....

that life is so good.
happy friday (: